Group Hug

Evie is just over 8 weeks old and the past few weeks have really shown me the importance of friends. Or more importantly, 'mummy friends'.

Let me take you back a few years to 2007. I decided that I wanted to buy a flat. I couldn't afford to live near my friends and family so I took the leap and moved, all on my tod, to a completely different town, about 30 miles north of my home. At this time I travelled with my job and was away from home 3-4 nights each week. My original group of friends were all still based in North London and even though we didn't see each other weekly, we were still close and through the wonders of facebook etc they never felt far away.

Maybe it's because I've got such a solid group of friends that I love dearly that I've not really tried to make friends where I live now? I think that is the case. I've also had these friends since I was 11. It felt so much harder to make friends at this age than it did back then. So for the past 4 and a half years, the only other person I've known where I live is my husband.

And then I fell pregnant. All of a sudden, I had a powerful need to discuss my pregnancy with others. I needed to share my cravings, my body malfunctions, my emotional breakdowns! I was reluctant to go to NCT classes, I'm not sure why. Logistically it was tricky anyway due to mine and my husbands work loads but I'm sure, had I really tried, we could've made it work.

So I turned to the computer. From one forum to another, I started to drum up conversations. This led to a facebook group being set up with 100+ amazing ladies who have been with me through every step of the way. I even dictated my 'In Labour' post to my husband in between contractions, such is the bond. Through that, I met a lovely lass who lives a stones throw from me and we started going to Aqua-natal classes together. Now, even if we don't see each other regularly, it's nice to know that I have a friend nearby.

Through the aqua-natal facebook group, I started attending a monthly Mummy meet-up. This was the chance to meet, breastfeed with no embarassment and have tea and cakes with other mums and still pregnant mums to be.

A smaller group of us then branched off to meet on a weekly basis in a local Starbucks where we clog up the whole place with our huge buggies and take up tables for hours whilst eeking out this one Large Hot Chocolate with Extra cream. I also invite along a lady who I met in hospital in the adjacent cubicle. Her baby girl was born 1 day after Evie and we took it in turns to comfort each other over various hormonal breakdowns. We have onded so much that I'm pretty sure I'll be in touch with her for life. If not forever, then for many years to come.

The moral of this blog post is that I've learnt, no matter how close your group of friends, when you have a baby, you NEED to have mummy friends. I'm lucky, I have 130 through my facebook group and 5 locally who I meet up with regularly. My home town friends are fabulous with Evie and listen to my woes with no judgement or boredom (that they show!). However, there is a deep rooted need to be with people who are going through the same utter, gut wrenching exhaustion and hormone battering mood swings as you are. The camaraderie that comes from the sheer overwhelming responsibility of keeping your child healthy and getting through day to day is paramount to Good Mental Health.

I raise my glass to my good friends. Even though it has no alcohol in it, I toast you all.

Katy x