Saturday 28 January 2012

An incredibly touching breastfeeding article

This is a link to an article written from a babies point if view on breastfeeding. I wish I'd read it at the very start of my bf journey. A teensy bit cheesy in it's style but easily forgivable.

http://theleakyboob.com/2011/08/baby-explains-normal-newborn-behavior/

Let me know what you think?

K x

Tuesday 24 January 2012

The Dreamfeed Challenge

I've been hearing from a lot of my Mummy friends that they give their baby a Dreamfeed to help them to get a little bit more sleep. The theory behind it is you 'top up' baby at about 11pm to help them to sleep a little longer, as it's their little tummy being empty that wakes them. The main thing with this is that you don't wake the baby. NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING BABY!

Now I'm exclusively breastfeeding Evie and booby dreamfeeds are a little harder than when using bottles. However, I had 3oz of expressed milk that I had to use up and I was, without wanting to sound dramatic, dying of exhaustion from the previous few nights of barely any sleep.

Now this was new to me. Evie was asleep and I kid you not, I was shaking at the thought of waking her and her not going back to sleep!
:-O

I popped my hand gently under her head and the other under her little bottom and lifted her out of her cot. Problem was, my right hand felt a little damp. Her nappy was huuuuuuuge and a change was very necessary.

So now I had to do a dream feed AND a dream change? The pressure!

Husband fetched the nappy and the wipes. We were doing this on the bed. No way I was going to risk leaving the bedroom! The temperature change along would wake her! All hands on deck.

We worked together like a well oiled machine, I undid the nappy, he wiped with the wetwipe, I slid the new nappy under whist he held her legs. Between the 2 of us she had the fastest nappy change ever. And she stayed asleep :)

So I gathered her sleepy little body up into the crook of my arm and bought the bottle to her mouth. She flinched slightly at first but stayed asleep. I let her take the milk for about a minute at a time and then stopped and let her settle back down because the more she drank, the more she seemed to stir.

It took about 10 minutes to finish the 3 ounces. I'm really conscious of how I feed her the expressed milk, I read an article on respectful bottle feeding which struck a chord with me. For a breastfed baby, a bottle is an entirely different sensation and flow. The baby has to really work for the milk on the boob and a bottle is much easier and can often end up overwhelming the baby. The bottles we use are the Dr Brown and are anti colic so I don't have the stress of winding her afterwards.

So, having made sure that I wasn't literally pouring the milk into her face, she fed and I kept her in my arms for about 10 minutes. Enough to ensure that she went back into her deep sleep, not enough that the settled only in my arms.

Next came the hardest part, I had to get her back into her cot. WITHOUT WAKING HER!

This is the part of the night time routine I struggle with after a normal feed. Evie sleeps next to me in her cot with the side totally down, however, the mattress isn't totally flush with mine, nor is the side of the cot quite low enough. So I can't do the slide across motion I'd like to do. Instead I have to lift her and then lower her down, which almost always stimulates a baby's moro, or startle reflex (when they flay their arms out like a starfish...cute but not when you're trying to be a stealth ninja mumma!).

Eventually she was lowered down, my left hand trapped under her head. I removed it finger by finger, holding my breath the whole time!

My right hand slid out from under her bottom and I gently placed her blanket back on top.

I kid you not, I was sweating. This was the Mummy Skill version of a task on the Crystal Maze!

You'll be pleased to know it was a totally futile task. She ungraciously woke an hour later as hungry as if she'd never been fed. And again 2 hours after that. Repeat for the rest of the day until mummy goes quite literally mad.

Until next time

Katy x

Monday 23 January 2012

My daughter- The Time Stealer

I think it was my sister who coined the phrase, Time Stealer. It stems from a conversation we had in the car, my sister, aka Auntie Sally was asking when we could go shopping together. Now there's not much I like more than spending quality time with my sis. Luckily we get to hang out quite often

Evie, Stealer of Time.
However, this week, what with all activities I've got planned for Evie, I just cannot fit it in! Because Evie, and I'm sure I can speak for most mums here, actually Steals Time. She turns a ten hour day time stretch into a thoroughly unproductive 45 minutes. At most!

Ironically the nights are another matter she doesn't so much steal time as warp it. The feeds can take an hour but feel like 4. That 2 hour sleep between feeds feels like 5 minutes. It's amazing really, because I'm sure I'd been told many things about the early months of babydom, but no-one really explained this... The accumulation of hours sat on the sofa breastfeeding. Add to that the hours spent expressing milk too, that's a hefty dent left on your sofa. After the feeds there are the cuddles, the change of nappy, sometimes twice in one go. The clothes changes. The sheer prep time needed to leave the house! On top of that, laundry, cleaning the house, eating. Before you know it, the day is almost over and your starting to plan bath time.

I find myself trying to justify the small amount of housework I've done to my husband, I don't need to because he does get it. But I still feel lazy. Which is stupid because I can honestly say, I'm working harder than I ever have.

So what else wasn't I told? Shouldn't there be a true guide to new mummyhood? I think yes! Here are a few gems of information I think it's my duty to pass on.


  • "You can sleep when the baby sleeps"

Um, not if she falls asleep in my arms and needs to stay there to get a good sleep. If I do manage to put her down, I need to use this short time to eat/shower/go to the loo/answer emails etc. I can't move because then she wakes. Contrary to popular belief, less sleep in the day does not equal a better sleep at night. At all.


  • Babies, when in a deep sleep can stay that way through all sorts of noise. But if Evie isn't in that deep sleep, just the sound of me snapping the clasp shut on my nursing bra wakes her up.
Her loud rumbly farts however do not?!

  • There are many baby slings and wraps on the market. The style that are a long strip of material that you wrap intricately around yourself are very popular. They also require a degree in Engineering and fully rotating shoulders to get on.

  • Nappies- They are not as simple as they look. There is a huge difference between Dry Max and the others. Put simply, Dry Max keeps it contained, none of the others do. This ties in with the next piece of info I wish I'd known.

  • Sometimes it is entirely necessary to cut of a babies vest with scissors.

  •  When testing out the prams in the shop, the nice friendly sales assistant effortlessly folds and unfolds the pram all smoothly. Clipping the car seat on and off with out breaking a sweat. In real life this is a different story. Pram Usage is a module covered in the above mentioned Engineering Degree.

  • If you are breastfeeding, the midwives and health visitors ensure that you are drinking enough water. Because breastfeeding is thirsty work! What they don't tell you is that, yes, you will be thirsty. But the hunger is another story all together. I think I would be less hungry with a 15 foot tape worm.

  • At first, I carefully scanned though all the children's TV channels and decided on the Baby Chanel. It turns out that as it stands at 3 months, Evie will pretty much watch any old tripe. Bless her.

  • The creases in a baby's neck gather all sorts of liquid grossness. It is quite impossible to ever get it 100% clean, so stop trying. Evie is never in a good mood with me after I've tried to get right in there. Same goes with armpits. Because it filters down and sits there. Icky. It also gets into ears if they're sick lying down. Then if you feed her lying on her side, her ear will fold shut and get stuck like that... Not forever but for long enough for you to weird out.

  • If you're lucky enough to have a big load of clothes that have either been donated or bought for you, you'll most likely have a fair lot in the next size up. It's tempting due to lack of space to store the next size all tidily away in the loft or garage. However, that sleepsuit that fit on the Monday might very well not fit by the Thursday. All of a sudden, little toes get squished up against the end of babygros. Keep the next size up nearby and in easy reach. Alternatively, pyjamas with open toes will give you more time. 

  • There are many different cries that all mean different things. Each baby has their own little noises that eventually each Mummy will learn. There's the hungry cry, the windy cry (I hate this one), the 'Jeeez I'm so tired but I can't get myself to sleep without you' cry. The last one is very nasal... There is however another cry that no books seem to warn you of- it's the cuddle cry. Plain and simple, the baby doesn't know what is wrong, there may not actually be anything wrong. Evie sometimes just wants snuggles for no other reason than she's a tiny baby who loves to be held. Why not?
I'm sure there are many more than in my sleep deprived state, I can't remember. I'd love to know some of yours?

Thursday 19 January 2012

Studies have shown...

I believe one doesn't truly know when pregnant, the type of parenting style one will adopt.
I for example have taken myself a little bit by surprise.

For those of you who have known me for a while, you may agree, I'm not known for my patience and tolerance. It's not my worst trait, however, I don't mince my words and sometimes I can be somewhat blunt in my phrasing. Not intentionally to be horrid, I don't like upsetting people. I just don't beat around the bush.

So I fully expected to be the type of parent that was all about rules. A stern Mummy. A tough love Mummy. The Bad cop to the Good cop role that always happens in a parenting partnership.

What actually seems to have happened is that I've become the exact opposite! All the things I swore to myself and my family and friends that I'd do I simply haven't. Don't get me wrong, I've not suddenly turned into a tree hugging hippy. There's no Birkenstocks on these feet. I just found myself being much more.....I think the word is soft :)


My first hint of this radical about turn (that's a bit dramatic but...) occurred when Evie was literally days old and we were both still in hospital. I'd been struggling with the breastfeeding and wasn't producing enough to feed her. She was understandably, rather pissed off with me and would cry A LOT through the night. Her cry would send this pain through me that hit right to my core. Her raspy cry from being so dehydrated totally overwhelmed me and I would have, at that point done absolutely anything to stop it. Not because it annoyed me but because I couldn't bear to have her in distress. The lovely new Mum in the next cubicle, who is now a very good friend came to my rescue one night when it had got particularly bad. Evie had cried almost non stop every night for 3 nights and I'd not slept hardly at all. That on top of the labour and the worry of her being a little bit poorly with the jaundice and the infection caused a slight breakdown! This lovely lady comforted me and pointed out that my reaction to her tears was normal and to be expected. That her cry was designed to penetrate my very being because I'm her Mummy! The cries of other peoples babies can be distressing, it can be heartbreaking and sometimes a little annoying. The cry of ones own baby is a physical pull that ties us together in a very primal way.

So when someone suggested to me that I try CC (controlled crying) or CIO (crying it out) I know that I simply can't, Because I've come to realise that if my baby is crying, it is because she needs me.

Evie can't speak (am I stating the obvious?) so if she's hungry, tired, cold, in pain or just in need of some comfort, the only was she can tell me is to cry. Different cries as I've come to recognise but cries nonetheless. So why would I want to leave her? If my sister was crying in distress after being put to bed all alone, I would never just leave her. So why would I do the same for my precious little baby? Yes, things might have been done differently in your day but that doesn't mean that it is right.

I breastfeed on demand, I snuggle my baby to sleep, I won't wean by baby at 12 or 16 weeks. I don't want to introduce baby rice.

What do people tell me?
  • That she's greedy for wanting to be fed 'on demand' (or cue fed which I prefer). I then have to explain her tummy size, that breastmilk is broken down quicker than fomula, that she is having a growth spurt or cluster feeding or just hungry!
  • My cuddling her to sleep is creating a 'rod for my own back', that she will become spoilt and won't ever sleep in her own bed. That she'll need to be cuddled to sleep FOREVER! I look forward to my 16 year old daughter asking me for that!
  • Milk isn't enough for her. She needs baby rice/pureed food/ rusks etc. Fill her tummy with starchy foods before she's ready so she sleeps through the night. Oh pleeease. Firstly, she is growing just fine on 'only milk'. She certainly doesn't need to have sugary fruits or rice with no flavour. It's booby all the way. For as long as possible. And as fantastic as it would be for 8,7 or even 6 hours sleep, it's not going to happen right now and I'm fine with it.

I won't defend every single parenting decision I make as I know that there are still many obstacles for me to overcome and I can't say which path I'll pootle down. I do know that for now, I'll continue along the path I'm on and do my middle of the night research as usual.

 There is one particular site that I find fascinating and she puts some fantastic links up that I have found invaluable. If you're interested in breast-feeding, co-sleeping and really well researched issues, I implore you to check it out - http://www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk/

It has armed me with so many facts and reassured me that I'm actually not doing it wrong, I'm just doing it the instinctive way. So when I say 'studies have shown...' you'll know where I got the information from!

Until next time

xxx

My First Baby Activity.

I'd heard about Baby Signing and always had the intention of starting it at 6 weeks, mastering it by 3 months and then having full conversations with my 6 month old over a Babychino in Starbucks. To the envy of all other mums of course!

In reality 6 weeks came and went and I'd absolutely forgotten all about it, my brain instead taken up with other important issues such as Pampers Dry Max v. Pampers Baby Dry (Dry Max wins btw) and being able to finally drive again after the emergency caesarean.

So one afternoon after I'd wheeled us rather clumsily through the heavy door of the Feeding Room at my local Mothercare I spotted the leaflet by the changing area.

'Baby Signing classes with The Best Start Club'

I'd been thinking to myself that day that I need to start doing activities with Evie that don't involve sitting and drinking decaf latte after decaf latte. So this was clearly a sign (groan).

I filed the leaflet away in the zipped compartment of my change bag (which has been reallocated to the collection of such things as leaflets, vouchers, pamphlets, important letters I need to post etc) and forgot about it for a week.

When I decided to clear out the massive wad of crap I'd stuffed in there I saw the leaflet and dropped the lady an email. There is a local class in the community centre near me, walking distance in fact and it's every Thursday at 11. It's a 10 week course so I don't expect I'll be having aforementioned conversations with her by the time they're done. Maybe I'll need another 10 ;)

Baby Sign for 'More'.


The first class was 2 days ago and I have to say I did enjoy it. There was a lot more singing involved than I expected (100% more to be precise) and although things like that do set off my cringe reflex, I coped quite well I think!

We covered the basis of Baby Signing and the group leader passed on her experiences of it with her own son. I was excited to hear that in fact I might not have been too far off track with my hopes. Babies can indeed respond to the signs from as little as 5 months and actually sign at about 8 months.

What I want to get from this is to enable Evie to communicate her wants and needs to me to ease frustration. It must be a total pain in the arse to be a baby desperate to be changed out of a wet nappy to have your cries misinterpreted for hunger or wind etc.

All things going to plan, I hope that soon Evie will be able to feel she can be understood by me, her Daddy and my mum and sister who also help to look after her.

We've started off with the basics-
Milk, nappy change, bath, bed etc. The key is consistency and repetition, always ensuring we remember to say the word as well as sign. This might take me a while to get into a habit, especially with her frequency of feeding and the logistics of the nightfeeds.

I also like the fact that its thought to help increase their spoken vocabulary as opposed to hindering it. They say most of the time the baby stops signing the word when he/she can speak it.

So I'll report back after a few weeks, hopefully a little more confident with the signs.

Katy x

Thursday 12 January 2012

12 Weeks

Evie was 12 weeks yesterday. My little pumpkin is starting to resemble a little person and not a newbie. This is so exciting and everyday I notice another trick she's learnt, a different sound or facial expression. This is all part of her growing, developing and learning. A small part of me feels a little pang when I notice how much she is NOT that precious little poppet we met 12 weeks ago. Instead she is a larger, more interesting funner version!

So what have we learnt about 12 week old Evie?

  • She is a total telly bug. I am aware that she has no clue of the actual content. It's the movement, the colour and the sound. But I love that I have a little companion to watch charmed with and my other poor choices of TV. So much so that recently when winding her, her head craned round almost 180 degrees to still look at the telly. My little owl :)

  •  Not only is it the TV that catches her eye, Evie is also a budding web surfer, She likes to sit on Daddy's lap and dribble over the keyboard.
"this broadband's a bit slow Mum!"


  • We still have sleeve issues. At first I thought it was being too hot or too cold that she complained about when getting dressed and undressed but I've narrowed it down to the sleeves. She really hates having her arms put through her vests, babygros, t-shirts and especially this jacket. See below for unimpressed post traumatic sleeve disorder face.
  • We had Evie's first Christmas. This is built up into such a massive hype for new babies and their families. Every store has Christmas outfits and hats with '1st Xmas!' emblazoned all over. Now I'm not a misery guts, I promise, but I had to request that people weren't too generous with Evie and presents. How ungrateful am I?! Hear me out. We live in a tiny 1 bed flat. After she was born and the congratulations gifts flooded in, for a while it looked like mothercare threw up in my bedroom. Plus, to Evie, every day is Christmas. Or it might as well be. So our friends and family kept on top of their fantastic generosity and contained the urge to spoil her rotten. We received a few select lovely gifts that she'll get good use out of and appreciate.  Including this babies baby that has been strategically placed into her arms. It's different textures and has different noises when you squeeze it. Currently it's purely another prop to mop up the dribble.

  • Ah. The dribble. This is a recent addition to her repertoire. Massive amounts of dribble 24/7. I mop it up, it reappears instantly. Is it teething? It certainly seems that it could be as it's combined with lots of chewing on her first and fingers. My HV however seems to think it's not and explained that the fingers in the mouth thing is exploratory and also a bit self soothing. In fact, when the thumb does make it in she does give a sigh and give it a suck for a minute or so. The other day, the thumb made it in but the index finger was unfortunately popped up the nose. Comfort and discomfort all in one. So we are now reliant on bibs. I'd rather change 5 bibs a day than 5 tops. And 5 is a good day!

  • Hair. We have hair! Evie was born with a fair amount of hair, well enough to give adequate scalp coverage.... Then I bought her home and gave her a bath. One swipe of the sponge over the top of her head removed a great lump of it in one go. I cried. Don't judge me. I know it's perfectly normal. But I really didn't want my baby girl looking like Sven Goran Erikkson. These last few weeks though we have had regrowth. Lots of regrowth! Lovely soft, fluffy hair to cover her little noggin.

  • We've gone into a big girls cot. Right next to my side of the bed with the side down. This is so much easier for me to feed her in the night. It also means that she can see me if she needs reassurance that I'm there. It also means that when she wakes up for her 1, 3 and 5am feeds (!!) I am greeted with the hugest smile and more recently, a very piercing excited squeal! Super cute and makes the night feeds much more bearable.

  • We've also learnt that the over the cot mobile doesn't work when it comes to calming her down and sending her to sleep. Oh no no no no no. What's the exact opposite of that? Crazy excitement. She stares and coos and does the crazy robot dance when you turn it on. If it's not on, she simply stares at it, does the robot dance, stares at me, does the robot dance until I turn it on. Not what works for just before bedtime!

  • Bedtime is a totally different blog post. I'm not ashamed to say, I've not quite got that down to a tee yet. Partly I think I haven't got the right combination of feeds and timings right yet, also though there have been so many differing factors. Going from Moses basket to cot. Staying over at my Mums in her pram bassinet. Spending a week up in Darlington in totally alien environments. Growth spurts. Vaccinations etc. All these can confuse and upset a baby. I might write a bed time conundrum post separately,

  • Evie has reached a whole stone in weight. Yep. 14lb 1.5oz at last weigh in. That's a nice solid, sturdy weight. She outgrew her 0-3 month clothes about 3-4 weeks ago. There were 3 babygros that fitted her on when we arrived in Darlington and didn't when we left a week later. It almost seems like Evie has been having a growth spurt for 2-3 weeks. It can't be. I think she's just got a healthy appetite. And all on my breast milk which I'm so happy about. If the day feeds could become a little more regular and the night feeds not so much, I'd be even happier!
What have Evie and I got planned over the next few weeks then? Well we have the 2nd set of jabs on Tuesday. This time I'm being brave and taking her. Last time Daddy came and I sobbed in the next room. I'm starting Baby signing classes next Thursday which I'm super excited about. I'm hoping to give Evie the tools to communicate her needs to me before she can talk.
I'm hoping to start Buggy-cise. Basically its exercising with your buggy in the park. We'll see about that. I can't run in these nursing bras so I'm not sure how much good it'll do me.
We have another shoot booked in for the 26th with the Cocoon photography ladies. I can't wait to see how she'll look in these photos. The last ones were so amazing.

Until then

Dribbly kisses xx